In the movie of my life
I am played by Jim Carey
Because he has a big mouth.
My wife is played by Cameron Diaz – it’s Hollywood.
My mother is Helen Mirren.
My father is Jim Broadbent because it always is.
The cat is CGI.
The film fails miserably.
Then becomes a cult hit
With poets, youth workers, socialists and fans of Twitter.
In the sequel the cat is voiced by Morgan Freeman.
He pronounces Chippenham wrong.
And wins an Oscar.