In the movie of my life

I am played by Jim Carey

Because he has a big mouth.

My wife is played by Cameron Diaz – it’s Hollywood.

My mother is Helen Mirren.

My father is Jim Broadbent because it always is.

The cat is CGI.

The film fails miserably.

Then becomes a cult hit

With poets, youth workers, socialists and fans of Twitter.

In the sequel the cat is voiced by Morgan Freeman.

He pronounces Chippenham wrong.

And wins an Oscar.