BOGOF when you just need one

Check out captains

Other shoppers.

Suspicious security guards

Other shoppers with small children

Unnecessary packaging

Cutting staff to use workfare

Other shoppers with small children not in control of the trolley they had to push.

Trying to find pine nuts

Having a choice of toasted or untoasted pine nuts

Paying £1 for having my pine nuts toasted.

Self-service tills

People who take trolleys through self-service tills.

Other shoppers with small children trying to use self-service tills.

Losing my wife to the clothing section

Loyalty cards

Forgetting my bag for life

Forgetting my vouchers to go with my loyalty card.

Eating horse meat that should be beef

So, mysupermarket.com

Would not sell clothes (maybe tights)

Only be for me

Pay a living wage

Trade fair

Wrap in paper bags

Sounds like local shopping to me.